In this photo i can see ruins all around me. Destruction lies around me, all from the brutal war. The smell of ash and blood stung my nose. Looking all around, it was dead silence; the only sounds were the sound of our boots clumping onto the ruins. But then, all I could taste was the saltiness of my sweat from crossing all those kilometres. I was tired, sweaty and I felt sticky. My foot seemed to crack every time i crossed over any ruin.
I find the TOONDOO cartoon amusingly amazing. So far, I don't think anyone in the class has used any graphic means to showcase their thoughts. Also, your description is good in the aspect that it addresses and appeals to all the five senses, but you only have one line for each, making it seem artificial and totally made just to follow the format. It is not well descripted. Did you do it for the sake of doing it?
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